Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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