Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
