he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
