But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
