I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
