super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
