Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
