I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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