I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
