She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize