My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
