Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize