there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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