If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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