Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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