Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
