Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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