): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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