you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
