I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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