What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
