I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
