That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
