If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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