All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
