yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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