Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
either way he was missing a nipple.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
