Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did I show you my penis last night?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We are two peas in an std pod
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
