i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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