I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
