So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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