sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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