he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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