On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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