): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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