whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
