I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
