I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Oh god it's open bar.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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