i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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