no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
