i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
