im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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