First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize