shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
