so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
