As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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