Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
