he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
