I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
