And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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