Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
