how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
