apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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