Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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