Having a random hookup so left but love u
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
