im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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