We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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