I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
