playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
