she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sorry about my life...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
