Who did Billy Mays play for?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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