weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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