he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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