I have demons in me.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize